Everything has been locked up.

Agira

1 year and 1 day

It's one year and one day since me and Gabriel left our home in London. It's been sold. and Toy died.

Here are some pictures of our London home, with us, Toy, my mom, some of my paintings, and things I was making, family photo's, some space...
 ... and , well, see for yourself... [it doesn't include London itself, or England, of course..]
You can also see Toy! Gabriel loved Toy...  . 

Autumn time.. collecting leaves and things and arranging on our table, which I had bought from a lovely lady who had used it for 2 generations of family, for eating and making, so it had lots of lovely richness of creativity to it. It was a lovely grainy wood, with chairs that were a bit rickety but full of life.

lots of healthy veggies at our colouring table!

In the background you can see some of my paintings. They are gone now.
I had taken quite a few things down before Gabriel got born because I wanted to create a fresh new space, that we could grow into together, where there would be space for his personality, and so that it wouldn't be overpowered by 40 something years of mine! I even painted nearly my whole flat myself, in lovely fresh bright-ish colours.
 I was so excited about this creative journey we would go on, collecting and deciding and creating our space together,  and adding nice photo's as we went along.

To me, having a space that is personal and sacred is vital to life and to me. Perhaps that's why it was always so important to me to offer that to Gabriel and give him the freedom to create his space and make his mark, starting at home!

I believe children need a voice [and their voice to be heard] from a young age. They need their voice in whatever form that may come through, to be respected and treated with dignity.
Children are not pets or hobbies, or less important or vital than adults.

Gabriel had a great tent in our lounge. It was an indian TP and he used to keep a lot of teddies in it, and he would invite you into his tent. Here he is with his Granny, visiting him! A very cool granny indeed!

, 

This is Gabriel in our passageway. I made all the space nice and clear and easy to maintain and keep clean, for a small person to crawl and toddle around. Here he is with his 'tuddy' from Dindsy. Tuddy has now been superceded by Orso the Russian bear, who is a tad bigger!! and is from his Papi. 
[given on the Italian day of the dead, a favourite holiday in Italy, especially Sicily, where you'll see people going and having big family day long picnics next to grave stones of the dead]

We used to make things and arrangements in our lounge. I used to have a wooden giraffe all the way from South Africa, from my mom! I thought it would be nice for Gabriel to have a bit of South Africa around him as that's where I am from. but obviously not toooo much, as the space is also Gabriel's space and he has a LOT Of growing to do!

Here was my couch and coffee table, where I loved to sit with Gabriel and before Gabriel where I spent many hours reading, or drawing or making things with my hands.  And you can see some of my mosaics that I made, and drawings and sculptures ...There was a lot of light from all the big windows, and fresh air from the balcony. In winter, we had lovely sun coming through which made your skin feel nice, even though we had heating which I had no qualms about keeping on as much as needed, as I hate being cold, especially in my own home!

a nice place to have a little nap and still be in my family space!

What I loved about having my own home, was that I didnt have to stay in my room [as you often do when you stay in shared accomodation or you're a lodger or a visitor in someone else's house].  After many years of this type of living, and finally having my own home, I realised how vitally important my space and my home is to me.  Its not about how many things or how expensive or anything like that, its about the energy and security and just peace of having your own space and being in control of your own environment.

Maybe the reason why I have found leaving London a million times harder than leaving SA, is partly because in London for the first time, I had a proper home of my own.. and of course there is the small matter of:
South African to London : 3rd world to 1st world.
London to Sicily: 1st world to semi-3rd world.

My easil! That has travelled around the UK with me for many years, but now it is gone.
It was part of what made my home feel creative and I always had paper or a canvas on it. It created a sort of feeling of creative anticipation and encouragement to draw and create. It reminded me what I am about and what makes my soul tick.
I did actually got to art school for 4 years!!!
What was also lovely about it was that it had wheels  and was quite heavy, so I could move it around. I usually placed it so that it was quite a distance from my main place to be, but very visible, so that it was part of the gestalt, but not too looming.  

Gabriel when he was very little, just before he could walk freely, on the balcony. How cute!! There's my hand.

Eating again!

 

No problem finding and tidying up lego and such like in our home. Everything had it's home. Luckily we never had too much stuff around. For me its important, firstly  to not overwhelm the senses with clutter, and secondly, its a value thing. Why have far more than you would ever need or use. In Britain we have a great system and tradition of charity shops and giving. I think its a great philosophy and way to live.
Also, at least for me, if I have a piece of art or a photo or something special, then I like it to have it's own space and be allowed to have a presence of it's own.
If it's competing with a hundred other objects then it's like a visual cacophony and just exhausting and infuriating to have to look at day in and day out. [made worse if the objects hold little or no meaning]

Granny's last visit...

Best of buddies, Gabriel and his Granny. - my mom Now Gabriel thinks Granny is some foreign concept or film character who lives in my phone.
This granny is his only living grandparent

This is my 'littlest' brother - Bruce [aka Bruce Moose]. He lived just near by.
We haven't seen him for a year, because we havent visited London once since we left.

And on the subject of  family - this is my little sister and her 2 kids, in South Africa, about  a week ago. They were at Sabi Sabi Game Park, visiting the Elephant Whisperer! Gabriel met his cousins once, when he was about 5 months old. He also thinks they live in phone video's.
Here is a picture from that time, in SA! [below]I suppose one good thing is that he's a global citizen already, without even trying!

Gabriel with his Granny, Dindsy, Kaelin and Kyle.

We used to have a family space in London. I always wanted to arrange making and creating playdates for Gabriel, when he got bigger,  and invite kids round and there would always be crayons and drawing tables and clay and things for making and  music and SPACE for dancing.
and I would collect everything Gabriel made and sometimes put them on the walls, or do collaborative art, him and me!
and we would dance and play in his tent and watch movies together [sometimes] but the table would be for eating and family time and drawing and making.
Toy was also part of the whole thing... I wanted to make Gabriel a boy doll of his very own made with my hands. I've blogged enough on that. ... I hoped to carry on making them and start a little assembly of hand made boy dolls and see what happens.

anyway... there we go... dreams....

Que sera sera

Ode to the Stranieri's of Italy. And. Protect the slowly turning cogs.

Starting to write on 18th and 19th August.. finished on the 20th!

I continue my lovely daily sojourn to the Favorita with Gabriel, exploring all the little trails under Pelegrino, back and forth and around and about, looking for horses, butterflies, dogs, cats, gruffalo's, listening to the Christmas Beetles, and sometimes falling asleep, the passenger that is! 

In South Africa we learn that the loud beetle sounds are from the 'Christmas Beetles' maybe? because they are most vocal in the middle of summer, Christmas time!
But when you come to Sicily, which has a lot of similarities, in terms of the climate vegetation etc, then of course the beetles sing most loudly in July and August which is not at all Christmas time.
Maybe here, the kids call them 'The Feragosta Beetles'


In fact, I think they are not even beetles, they are crickets! - which is not a dissapointment at all, if you consider that in Pinocchio, which is 100% Italian made, there is a talking cricket: Il Grillo Parlante, or 'Jiminy' as he is called in the Walt Disney film. He is Pinocchio's official conscience. So maybe this time at the Favorita is indeed fertile time! for the ever mentioned,  these days, 'Things of Meaning'... and HERE .. read on read on if you can!


Here are some of our Favorita pics:

Having a sit down and a drink on the bench in the main park,
Good for step ups if the little person happens to be sleeping!

"Run Mummy Run" is what I often hear now, if I start to walk. Here I am being directed, 

or, we are looking for horses! 

The police on horse back often have little strolls along the trails, which is hugely exciting!

Sleep time, perfect. Below the mountain and in the shade.
Belissimo and Meraviglioso for those that have the luxury!!

Regards the rest of my list of  my ever scratching and scurrying around THINGS OF MEANING
while I have not made one ounce of practical progress or change, I think I am on the up. I hope.
At least my soul is feeling a tiny bit more hopeful.

This is what has helped and is helping: 

I started trawling through the 'expats in Italy' blogs and sites that I have loved in the past, and found this newish post by a wonderful blogger in Sicily, who is also from the Southern Hemisphere as it happens! : Unwilling Expat - Coming to Sicily Reflections

And I found a bunch of others to peruse, re-peruse and get back my some of my sense of humour, wonder and gratitude for everything I have. And, to try to get some creative/chutzpha petrol running through my blood and my imagination and my being.

[Note: It is not good to start sentences with 'And' but I am doing it anyway... just to mention, for various reasons!]

I can't list them all here, but here is another one I love, by a Brit in Sicily, which really does make me chuckle:
Driving like a maniac. She's also just written a book, which I must buy! The Dangerously Truthful Diary of a Sicilian Housewife and she's written some helpful stuff on teaching English too, which is something I am supposed to be doing soon! 

So that has been good. and I am trying to keep up a bit of reading and curiosity and intuition, and hopefully, a sense of investigation and opportunity. We shall see what comes up! As I go along, I am always amazed that there is more than I thought out there. I am reminded of the importance of at least some kindred souls, but you need to search and try and reach out, I remind myself. Anyway....lets see!

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Then, I have finally updated my running diary on my blog, so I have my races that I've run in 2015 listed, as well as the probable or possible ones I'll be running.

Most excitingly, I have the next 2 weekends full of awesome running, I am so excited!! and it is thanks to my dear Marito and figlio bambino: Maurizio and Gabriel Crispi.

I HAVE.... tadaa......:

This weekend: 22/23 Aug:
ECOTRAIL DELLA LUNA at Cultavuturo
Sat night 22 August  - 14km running with torches
Sun morning 23 August -  16km day light

We are staying the night in an abbey run by nuns. Cultavuturo is beautiful.
I'm so excited! Mauri is going to take pictures, and hopefully Gabriel will have fun watching the runners at night, under the moon!

Next weekend: 29/30 Aug:

Saturday 29 Aug: 6 Ore Lavellese [a 6 hour race consisting of a circuit of 1005-ish meters. So you run as many laps as you can in 6 hours]/ It starts at 3pm I think, until 9pm

It is in the town of Laveallese in Basilicata. We will drive there, and so me and Gabriel get to cross the Messina straight for the first time!

Sun 30 Aug: 8.30 am - The Levellese Marathon. I believe it uses the same circuit as the 6 hour race.

I think it will be great training for the:

100km Etna Extreme which is on the 13th of September. 

That's a road race around Etna. Its brand new this year, and organised by the super awesome race organisor of Sicily, Aldo Siragusa, who organises the ECOTRAIL Circuit. It's quite a long time since I did a marathon, never mind a 6 hour race or a 100km race, so it is going to be interesting! 

And especially considering that my training consists of less than 10km a day, a few days a week, with a baby jogger!

So I am excited to have my running getting some kind of spirit and structure back to it, finally. And next year, there is the Abbots Way Ultra, which is 125km in Northern Italy with 5500 m altitude climb. Its in about April May time. I ran it in 2011 and can't wait to run it again!! The route is an ancient pilgrims route, which is what drew me to it in the first place. I think we might be going!!

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As for my main list, which I think is finally [I hope!] starting to sneak  out of it's shell -  maybe thanks to the crickets! -  who knows, this is sort of some tentative stuff...
Not very comprehensible, but stored here, perhaps mostly for my benefit:

Here are a list of things that we would like to do [on top of the running trips!]

[Not in any particular order]

1. Visit the Botanical Gardens of Palermo.

We have done it! We went yesterday - Wed 19th Aug - and it was beautiful. You can just feel the history as you walk through them. As I find in Palermo, the joy of many places is that they quite organic and natural. It's a paradox. In one way they have been left to age naturally and so they feel very accessable and real. But in another way, they can have a slight air of sadness to them because there is a sort of underlying element of decay. 

Thankfully, the history and beauty of the gardens over rides the little bit of decay that creaps around. Perhaps I am just too aware of it, after having lived in the UK, where everything is so pristine and there seems to be so much money to maintain even the most obscure little findings of history you find dotted all over the UK.

I would love to go again some time perhaps at a different time of year. 

So far we have been to 3 wonderful gardens together:
1. Royal Botanic Gardens, Kew in London - we went there twice, once when Gabriel was a Beetle, and more recently with my mom when she visited London before we came to Palermo

2. Garzoni Gardens in Tuscany - in June this year, in the town of Pinocchio. These gardens are absolutely incredible, built right up the side of a steep hill, and next to the [now vacant] mansion which was inhabitted by the Collodi family. Carlo Collodi was in fact the author of Pinocchio! There is a lot of history to the garden and although it is not what it was in it's hayday, it is still beautiful and a magical poetical experience to walk through. I can't possibly do it justice in a few sentences here!

And now 3. the Botanical Gardens of Palermo -  our home town! Here are some pics:

Palermo is full of these beautiful ancient trees.
We even have some on our road. They are incredible.
But I've forgotten their name!

Expansive!!! I wonder if Mauri was thinking of Tata at this time. I never realised until later, that the last time he visited the gardens was with Tata. You can read about that on his FB album post!

A true little boy, any chance he gets to run, he'll run run run!! Of course, mommy must run too! 

Luckily, I dont mind at all!

These trees are like camels, they store water in the bulgy part of their trunks. They are called monkey tree's I think, and they have little spikes all over them to protect them. They also produce what looks like little bunches of cotton wool, and this has often been used as stuffing for pillows or cushions.

Here are all Mauris pics

back to the list....:

We shall have to find some more gardens to visit, Italy is awash with them! 
I must say that one of the things that really drew me to love Italy, was watching the Monty Don Italian Gardens series on BBC back in 2011. It is incredible.  You can actually buy the episodes on DVD now, maybe worth getting, even though we are actually here, in Italy, now!! but they are just beautiful, and in English. Maybe for my mom!!

2. Do a day trip to one of the Egadi islands, and/or at some point visit one or two of the Aeolian islands. To be decided and planned

3. Visit Farm Cultural Park in Agrigento.

I found out about this place when I lived in London and I really want to go and see it! It isvery much part of my 'things of meaning' theme!

4. Visit Bioparko Di Sicilia, which is near to the airport in Palermo, so easy enough to get to.

5.  Visit the geological park Alcantara
This, Mauri says, is actually where one of Aldo's trail races is, so its perfect for us to link into a trail race trip. Excellent!

So those are just a few things. There are also gallery visits and general exploratory and free forming jaunts! [At least until school starts and maybe some kind of job for me -  all for another post!]

We have already been on a few little trips riding our bikes with Gabriel in his new funky baby seat on the back of my mountain bike. The only challenge here is that we have to go right after he's had a long sleep because otherwise within minutes he falls asleep! and there is no way of propping up his head when he's on the seat, we have to literally stop our jaunt and drink coffee or go home! 
A few days ago, we went riding round the old city of Palermo and it definitely gave me some soul food, because there are a few shops selling hand made in Sicily, great stuff, not plasticy or gimicky stuff, but nice quality stuff.
I like that! There are proper makers in Palermo who sell their stuff,who I can see in real life. I shall have to go back and look a bit more properly in the shops some time.
So far, there seems far less of an online pressence here, of arstists and makers. In the UK, Etsy and the net is awash with artists actively selling, networking, promoting etc.
Here, I suspect they have different avenues, and of course, less people, smaller market. But, the playground must be somewhere, I am looking, and I guess this is a little start, I hope!

Here, of course,  are some pics of our bicycle jaunting.

Finally, getting to the crux -  my list of 'Things of Meaning' I shall not go into now.. there is not space or time or form. 

Suffice to say that the cogs are turning. I feel them. slowly and quietly. I need to do some talking and thinking and planning and drinking of self confidence juice and lets see what happens.
The flame is little and needs protecting. 

I hope, in the not too distant future, to have news.

But for now: 

From London days, not long before we left...

and then... along with a few other things, we do actually have these here in Palermo, brought over from London!! 

[even though there is still an unknown quantity of life stuff stuck somewhere between London and Palermo with our dear trusted invisible mover! but that, too, is for another place]

and now, byby! until next time. From the Safa Brit on the beautiful island of colour expression freedom and sunshine!

Let us not forget!

Its in the running

I suppose it is time to reflect, again, some more. Just to  keep stagnation at bay, OR, just because it is good and fun and inspiring and 'growth-full'!   [refering to last blog post The things of Meaning of 29 and 30 July]. I hope it can be more of the 2nd version.

Of my list of things I need to do, I have been running.
Thank goodness for my baby jogger, even if it is only trailworthy and not roadworthy. 
It means we have made good friends with Parco Della Favorita which is less than 2km from where we live. It's basically a park right next to the athletics stadium, and under the beautiful Monte Pelegrino, which I also love to run up, going along the pilgrim route, but not with the buggy !
Here is something about it!

So most mornings me and Gabriel have been heading off to the park and running along the shady trails that run alongside the mountain. Great for the jogger as it works well on trails, but shudders horrendously on road. If I ever get round to writing a review on this jogger, I will say something!!
Anway, we manage to run/walk close to 10km most days. If Gabriel happens to fall asleep at the opportune time, then I can do some situps or step ups in the park, as a subsitute for hills.
Although I don't run fast wtih the jogger, I am still never the less pushing about 15kgs of baby [at a guess, I must way him some time!] and I think about 10kgs of jogger, so its good core training in itself!

So at least I can say, I have found a place in Palermo that I can get to without a car, which I can sort of connect with and be in. I love mountains, nature , trees and open spaces, and it ticks those boxes. So that is good. Gabriel likes it too, and if I start walking, a little voice pipes up saying 'run mommy run!'. Naturally, as you do,  we often stop in the park on the bright fresh green grass [one of the few places in Palermo where they water the grass so that it is green] so that Gabriel can do his running!

So that is where I am with my list of things. The rest, well, I am a bit stuck.
Maybe by writing this blog, I will find my way a bit more. I feel quite sad about it, but hey ho... it's all in the running!

OK, Here are some pics!!

The first are from the Stra-il-Bompietro race which was last weekend. It was a little 10-ish km urban trail, and there were about 40 something runners, because there was a lot of other stuff going on on that day in Sicily. It was quite a lot of fun. I am not doing a lot of races these days so it was nice to do one, even if it was just a little one. But it was the trail community so it was especially nice! I was first lady, of a very few ladies and 13th overall. Normally I am not bothered by times and position, but sometimes it is fun if it is an absolute suprise. It was actually a 2 lap race and I never realised. After the 1st lap, I thought I was finished and then I had another lap to go! [as you can surmise, my Italian is NOT coming along in leaps and bounds at all]

Then for Maurizios birthday, we went to his friend Sophia's lovely guesthouse le case di cardellino
about an hour and a half out of Palermo. It is set right in the mountains and is surrounded by absolute beauty, including the parco delle madonie
They definitely have the best food in Sicily, in my experience so far, and it is just the most homely welcoming place you could go. It feels like going to be in a family.
As it happens, there were some other little people there close to Gabriels age so he had a great time and totally latched onto Francesco who is 8 and who just took Gabriel right under his wing.
Among others, here are some pics of the kids sitting on the rock just before they all left. There were about 3 families who came together with their kids. All together there were also 3 dogs, to Gabriels delight: Frida [our dog], ChiCho [Sophia's dog] and Pacco [one of the guest's dogs]

I also had a great run down into the valley and then up through the park, almost reaching the town of Sclafani right on the top of a mountain! on the road but nice.

and now some pics from Le Case di Cardellino

Then finally, here are some pics from the place where me and Gabriel go!

Not the most profound blog post you ever did read, what can I say!

Maybe next time, I will make a list of Stranieri blogs - foreigners in Sicily and Italy. It might help!