Something about subversive stitching, earth goddesses and Tiny Pricks

1st September 2020: I am in pain. I feel invisible and like a feather that's fallen from a bird, just floating around getting dusty and lost, without a wing to be part of, or a nest to go home to.

The good thing, I guess, is that feathers, like hair and reptilian scales, antlers, etc have no feeliing. They are made from alpha keratins. They are appendages on living beings, but they are not the being, they are outside.
Perhaps they create a temporary boundary between the world and the being. In animals they grow back every year, unless some ego maniac psychophant has decided to dump their trash and oil onto the earth, as if they personally own it. But thats another story.. it's just sometimes when you feel deeply sad, and deeply let down, you suddenly feel sad about many other things where there has been blatant disregard etc etc.

Multiple choice: which of the following: ?

1.Snakes shed their skins
2.Penguins shed their feathers
3.Dogs moult
4.Mooses shed their antlers
5.Women are expected to remove most of their hair, their weight, their clothes, their sensitivity, their voice, their brains, if they are to be liked or even seen by the standard male. [obviously, there are  exceptions , where certain fortunate and more admirable males have managed to evolve from relying entirely on their reptilian brains]

something to try to try to feel better and counter balance the toxicity, at least in theory.

 

 

 I am starting to work on this:

 

Earth is my element, its where I heal and feel grounded..Obviously, I also have the star sign of Taurus.  Here is my earth doll / earth goddess.
She is, understandably, very angry.
She is outspoken, and brash in her silence. She hackles and is trying desperately to be brave and to put a message out there.  [that hits a nerve, or many nerves. ]
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So I had been very interested in Diana Wymar’s project ‘Tiny Pricks’ on instagram [lots of podcasts and articles scattered around the interweb]. I relate to how she mentally and emotionally processes the vulgarity of the language of Trump, his misogyny, sexism, racism etc,  through the process of hand stitching his words. While I’m not American I feel viscerally, the massive impact he has on women and minorities in particular.  I think he represents a massive shadow in so much of the world, not just America. His words and attitude has sadly become normalised and the impact of this extends way beyond America.

You just have to think back to not very long ago, when women throughout the world took to the streets to march in anti-Trump rallies. It was not and is not a small matter.

When I think back to this time, not long after he came into power, and how literraly the entire world of women galvanised and marched, I feel as if the anger of my earth goddess doll is, if not justified, at least very understandable.



 

I had started making a contribution towards the Tiny Prick's project,  using perhaps one of his most famous [earlier] quotes, just as a kind of experiment in the process and just because it affects me. a lot.

  “You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful – I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything… Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything” [D. Trump]





So it has been waiting.. to be finished, to be updated, to be sent, to be sat with.. an experiment in the physical processing of language and concepts and all the weight they carry.  .

 subversive stitching

So as it happened, in stitching the above D.T. words, and then subsequently making my earth goddess [not yet finished] , they inevitably came together. Not exactly 'nicely' but certainly 'poetically'


 

Below the doll, I have stitched 'a very sacred space' and I have a collection of words to put below that, somehow.. [above you can see the start of the idea typed onto the image]

I am working on all these bits and pieces and how to stitch them, and myself, together.

To go  back a bit.. as I was saying, I started making the Donald Trump piece.. at the same time, I spent many hours making this gift .
Again, very opposing sentiments and creative processes.  Ironic in hindsight.

So. I got hit right in the gut by a certain experience relating to this world and its ripples and associations.. specifically the gutters where a certain type of porn swims...
How massive this 'world' is and how devestating and dangerous its impact is on so many facets of life for millions of people, especially women, across every possible sector of society.
How much better and superior and healthy this is  and THIS.  ??

Anyway , so as a result [art heals!] I started making my earth doll into this ‘posed’ reclining figure of a woman. I felt that while making this goddess, a celebration of feminity, I was forced to contemplate this, [in my view] utterly repulsive whole world of hard porn and how it denegrates the very fibre of our social consciousness and degrades and disempowers women, on so many levels, this all now far more close to home that I would ever have dreamed.
I am now seriously terrified about the very real threat of our kids entering this world without even knowing what they are finding and seeing.. scary.
It makes me soo angry, that this selfish [adult] mass addiction is so liberally available as to literally offer it on a plate to our children.


My goddess figure is  anatomically exaggerated: breasts, ovaries,  etc, I have made her cut open to reveal ‘something’. She feels complicated, layered, beautiful through her scars and imperfections. The opposite of airbrushed fakes, or some smutty car magazine with 'brainless' girls draped all over chunks of metal.
She definitely needs a tattoo on her arm, some jewels, a face and hair. She will be ALL SEEN the way she is, angry or not. She has every right.

I like this version of a goddess.  I doubt she'd be hired for the porn industry. Thats at least something to be grateful for!  Thanks Tom and Kathleen! Nice humans... dont you think? He seems to like his wife.

---------------------------------------- and we couldn't end, without a bit of an intro / insight down the rabbit hole of this world  that harms and destroys so many lives, for the superficial temporary selfish pleasure of a those who are unable to honestly enter into a real human respectful authentic relationship.

 

There are so many devestating strands that run from this mostly male made construct. 
human trafficking
multi million dollar industries
How Porn impacts women in our society

PORNHUB is itself a 97billion dollar  industry, relies heavily on human traficking to support its online porn business. It is the biggest free porn website, 10 times the size of Hollywood

Here - "Dr. Mahri Irvine, Adjunct Professional Lecturer at American University said, “I really wish that people who watch porn knew more about that. Because I think they believe that they’re engaging in this activity in a very passive way. And they’re like, ‘Oh, I’m doing it in the privacy of my own home and this is just a video that I’m watching’. And they’re not associating it with the fact that pornography is very often the filmed rape of sex trafficking victims.” "

Porn surges during lockdown

Increase in trafficing and use of minors in porn during lockdown

 

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Maybe when I am finished making my brazen earth goddess, I will feel a little bit better... for now I will listen to Tom Waits. He's sober, a musician and a poet and an artist and a husband and a dad. Those are obviously his [more healthy] priorities.

A birthday Bookwich for the Mystery Man, and inside said bookwich are some kickass goddesses! and other things..

My hands this book for Maurizio for his birthday,  my second proper 'finished' book. I always feel as if there is more to do, more to say, more to discover. I also need to work on letting a few 'empty' spaces just be, still and breathing. spaces. space.  [expanse, blank, zone, breadth, breath, headroom, turf,  margin, infinity, gap, field, capacity, territory]

As always the process of putting together this little book was healing for me, even though the book was to give away and the intention was to keep the reciever in mind, in a healing and compassionate and fun way. I was quite surprised at what came out of this book. What it told me, I think , was exactly what I needed to hear.
At the moment, for me, it's about values, personal values [ethics, morals, consciounce, integrity, standards, ideals, sense of honour, beliefs, character, attitude]

The little bookwich seems to act as a mirror, it confirms my core values, and reminds me what is important for me. I like the way it has a playful childlike feel, but also a wise woman thread running through it. It feels grounding to me, with a tiny bit of rebelion, just to remind me to BE BADASS!  Life is short!

It always amazes me when working with textiles and mixed media and 3d stuff, what pops its head out of my stash to be included in the thing being made. It's like it has a spirit before it is even born and then the bits and pieces reveal themself as it lives itself into being.

The Gruffalo ! a London Bus with 'silly billy'  - an expression which was very much part of the daily lingo in South Africa when I was growing up. There is also a page for each of Maurizio's dogs: Flash and Black, and 'leggo': 'I read' in Italian, and 'read' in English, and on the last page one of my favourite italian words 'ninnananna' which means lullaby!

The process of making these books reminds me of my own process in life, where there often seems to be no actual 'page order',  but rather read /make the end, then the semi middle then back to the back then the front and so on and so on. In the end it gets made and everything is ok, or ok enough

I  became interested some time ago in some artists who draw with thread, for example Debbie Smyth,

I love the loose fluid way she draws and the bits of thread hanging off the image make it alive and full of air. I am just experimenting with the idea. This little page was made from a bit of fabric that I died with a strong brew of Tescos Finest Chocolate Tea!

The thing with me is that my first love has always has been painting, specifically oil painting with thick gloopy paint mixed with different mediums.
I love the immediacy of it and the way paint moves and how i feel almost as if the painting is making itself. But strangely, I havent painted for years, instead I keep discovering and experimenting in other different mediums, in a 'painterly way' so kind of tryinig to find that immediacy and chance and surprise that painting naturally excudes so freely, in other areas of making. It seems a contradition to find immediacy in the very time consuming process of hand stitching, but it is there.
In the slowness is the immediacy and likewise, in the immediacy of painting, there is the slowness, because of the layers upon layers upon layers.

 
Things are not always what they seem! Trust in the process and the Gods of creativity and goodness and do the work.

 

 
           The Goddesses that I put into this book are:

"Saraswati, goddess of knowledge and the arts, embodies the wisdom of Devi. She is the river of consciousness that enlivens creation; she is the dawn-goddess whose rays dispel the darkness of ignorance. Without her there is only chaos and confusion. To realize her one must go beyond the pleasures of the senses and rejoice in the serenity of the spirit.

Saraswati wears neither jewels or paints herself with bright colors. The white sari she adorns reflects her essential purity, her rejection of all that is base and materialistic.

 

 

 

"Maat or Maʽat refers to the ancient Egyptian concepts of truth, balance, order, harmony, law, morality, and justice. Maat was also the goddess who personified these concepts, and regulated the stars, seasons, and the actions of mortals and the deities who had brought order from chaos at the moment of creation."

 In Roman mythology, Veritas, meaning truth, is the goddess of truth

 

Veritas is also the name given to the Roman virtue of truthfulness, which was considered one of the main virtues any good Roman should possess. The Greek goddess of truth is Aletheia (Ancient Greek: ἀλήθεια). The German philosopher Martin Heidegger argues that the truth represented by aletheia (which essentially means "unconcealment") is different from that represented by veritas, which is linked to a Roman understanding of rightness and finally to a Nietzschean sense of justice and a will to power.

 And here is the book,  in the opposite order, so first the open  book then the back page and so on to the front,

 

 

last pages

Collecting memories, and goodbyes..

I made these little folk together, at the same time, even though mostly I was making the one in the little blue dress, for my first friend I ever made in Sicily. She is on her way back home to New York to live again, as we speak!

I made two dolls at the same time, not really thinking of them as being together as such,
But just before I gave the doll to my friend, when I said goodbye, I realised that I had been making me and her! Obvious now, but not at the time..

Although the dolls don't look vaguely like either of us, I am definitely not short, and I dont have long hair, not soes she have curlyish hair or wear little blue dresses, but there is something about them that makes them feel like they are us. They are real friends!

I wrote this on instagram as I had just finished them. Often, the writing is how I figure these little people out...

me:
They are so different these little friends aren't they?
But they're excellent players and imaginers and story tellers, and they've only just met! That's the thing about playing and imagining. It can just start!

reply from someone :
I look forward to hearing about their happy adventures and exciting stories...will they have a blog?

and me again:
Actually the one in blue is emigrating to NY with the first friend I made when I arrived in Sicily. She is leaving and going back to NY. I qm happy for her but i will miss her.. the little dolly in blue is for her. The wild one with notty hair and ill fitting clothes and a bit weird, i guess, must be me!🤣

And here we are!! One again in person, but two in spirit.

 

a Finished healing book, ready to fly..

 Here is my little sister's healing book all ready to fly to England to it's new home. I just need to wrap it in something , and maybe make a video of it to see the pages opening.
Everything in this book has a story. Some things have even been around the world such as the tiny red aeroplane which was on a pair of little boy corduroys which my nephew had [my sister's little boy], which came from America, then they came to Gabriel in London, and now they are here in this little book going back to my sister!

and many stories like that, ok, another one! : The cover of the book is from a t-shirt that Gabriel's granny bought him in South Africa, at the Rosebank Rooftop Market in Jozi !

And without further ado, here we are:

Hand stitched healing and encouragement books

I've started making hand made little books out of fabric and stitching, recycled fabric mostly. My original idea was to make books for sewing essentials, like a kind of little travel sewing kit. Little Scissors, needles, pins, some thread and maybe some buttons or other odds and ends.
So I made one little one for me, as a test.
Then, I made one for a dear friend, which had more pages and was a bit bigger. I dont have photo's of it, but I tried to personalise it with bits and pieces of fabric and imagery that I thought might speak to her.
I enjoyed making those very much.
Next I started making a book for my sister, and I started including text and little written messages. I imagined that she could keep it in her handback or in her draw.  I imagine that it might be comforting and that the love that goes into the stitches might somehow reach her when she holds it.
I also have various other 'pages' as works in progress for other little experiment books.

As I have been making them, I have been listening to podcasts and thinking to myself how I could perhaps turn these into 'healing books'. I could make them customised for someone, or just out of my own ideas around healing and growth.
So I could put in quotes from inspiring women. I would make them mostly for women I think.
I think that there is a great need for women to gather and form tribes and circles, supportive and healing and encouraging. returning to more ancient traditions.

It is an interesting concept because since Corona, where we have really been lucky to have online connections with people, its as if there is now less of a fear of technology and it has been more broadly welcomed than perhaps it was.

Of course there will always be the extremes, and zero technology and too much technology, but perhaps its about combining and using the good of both.
After all I can't make a healing hand made book with a computer as that would defeat the purpose, but I can take pictures of it and share the images and perhaps inspire or at least communicate something about healing art, that way.

I love the idea of beautiful hand made imperfect things to keep and hold. If anyone feels like me, then perhaps they would like this idea of holding a healing book that has been infused with love from the making of them.
I could put in quotes and maybe a little replenishable notepad and pen/pencil, maybe some little insence sticks, or even some herbs. 
My idea is to make something small and precious to keep in your bag or draw, to remind us that we are all part of a bigger circle of creative strong resourceful women.

So this is my idea. It needs a lot of work and I need to find ways of making these using, partly, my sewing machine as doing them completely by hand is not sustainable. Also,  I should make some with Italian in them..!


I'm quite enjoying these podcasts:   Jen Carrington in England, which I found today.
And since last week, I have been devouring the podcasts of Kristena West

So I was thinking of starting an ETSY shop, but from what I have researched so far, the fees are pretty astronomical, but there are other options - shopify, instagram, and some others.

So I am making and researching.

Important things to do soon:

1.    Learn how to use my sewing machine and practice something.

2.    I need another table in my studio, to lay things out and prepare things  [Leroy Merlin]
3.    Start my Kaffe Fassett Seed Packet Quilt.

4.    Prepare templates : books + quilt
5.    Carry on with Heroine's Journey Game - Barb Kobe

6.    Photograph work - try... experiment..