April 24, 2018

Guardian doll so far



This is my guardian doll so far.




She is the guardian of my journey, this one or another, they intertwine, are at crossroads, they seem to compete but mystically unite, somehow, out of time and place. i am trying to believe.


I like her face the most at the moment. She is full of detail, with the sewing, her face is layered with colours and texture and roughness. her eyes are open and she is not afraid to cry. Her charcoalness makes her brave even if a little unreachable. She has
coloured forms coming out of her head, making her at first surprising and a bit shocking but then brave and full of voice. She speaks her own language, but only some can hear. Only some will dare look.


Her body is still a bit awkward, and she wishes to hold something, up to the sun perhaps. She likes her baggy clothes full of colour and beads and joined together fabric like a fishing net or passed down clothes. She wears Spiderman on her arms and Aslan on her front. Her neck is strong, it holds her tears.
She speaks to me of ambiguity and dichotomy and holding opposites, and being all things, sometimes bravely sometimes not sometimes quietly sometimes not.
I think she has a lot to say, I hope she tells me, I hope I can receive her messages, i hope they reach me.


I think that today, she is saying happy sad birthday. Even though it does not feel like a happy birthday kind of  day, perhaps it can be happy and sad at the same time, somehow.

Perhaps my guardian will need more colours and threads and beads and maybe even a little spirit animal, but for now, she is giving me my birthday.