September 19, 2016

the return of the spider

This is today's drawing.
They never look the same in a scan as when you hold it in your hands and feel the paper. The colours are more opaque or more translucent than this flatness.. anyway, I have the drawings. and this is  a sketchy kind of a drawing anyway.
This is just a bookmark, for me.

I am drawn so often in my life, when it is a certain way, to my two all time favourite artitsts: 
Louise Bourgeois
and Niki de saint phalle

One of the things that made me want to come to Italy in the first place, other than to run in the mountains of course, was to see the Tarot Garden in Tuscany, which I did see!! 

Here it is and something from it. It was made by Niki de saint phalle.

But I think that I think of Louise first, and then Niki, perhaps because I have seen more of Louise's work, and spent more time with it, on various occasions. [when  I lived in London]

Louise's work is also VERY autobiographical. I like artists like that, like Tracy Emin, although controversial, I like her work a lot. It is gutsy and fiery and not afraid of boundaries, and with work like that, it doesnt matter if someone percieves you a certain way, your work speaks for itself.
I think that is what draws me to these artists, the power and voice of their images.
I can relate to that so much. I find my own voice to feel more resonant and less trembly when i speak with my hands. I think it is food and guidance for my voice in real life, so when I don't speak with my hands, it is to my detriment.

I love a lot of things about Louise's work, and lots of it is just subconscious ressonance with the images, so not easy to list of explain.  The symbol that comes back to me so often, rather enigmatically, is the spider. It is contradictory and safe at the same time. I dont know... I cant explain it... I suppose that is why it creeps back onto my page so often in fits and starts.
and I love the way both artists work with image and word together, and also with textile and thread and cotton and sewing. In a way, it's craft, but turning it onto it's head, not denying it's 'roots' in the 'women's work' box, but making it's message and voice that much more powerful and provocative and alluring. The envy of the 'men's box' !!

I wish I could be like that in life, take things and turn them around so healthily and cleverly into something so 'other' and let them be something outside me that is glorious and strong and full of identity and purpose, as artists like Tracy are,  that is also me [in my way, whatever that is!] , that I can see and relate to, and have a mirror.   It's like MAKING deep ancient memories and quietly sharing them.

I love the spaces that Louise creates. You get such an immediate sense of her as a person, as an artist, as a soul. I love the way she expresses past and present and everything all at once so beautifully even if it is terrifying or brazen at the same time.

I am not sure what I am saying exactly, but I think the experience of having seen in particular one of her giant spiders outside the Tate Modern in London and seeing her retrospective in the Tate Modern, a few years ago,[i did a blog about it, i shall try to find it] is something that has stayed with me, under my skin and in my soul and something I draw on, when I remember or when i need that kind of stuff for my cells.

It is a good sign when I remember 
Louise Bourgeois, I think.  Here are just a few images. 

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